my little thought: Thursday, May 28, 2009

Went out for lunch with Ian today at Yellow Corner. I reach kjg around 12 pm so I went to wash out some pictures and looked around Parkson and eventually bought another water bottle to replace the one I lost in KMK. Lucky it's exactly the same like the lost one, i love the design of the bottle. Since I have nothing to do d in Metro so went to Yellow Corner around 12.30 pm and waited Ian there while reading CLEO. Taylor Swift is on the cover this month and oh my! she soooooo gorgeous! Yay! Ian reached bout 1 pm, we shared a plate of mushroom fried rice since he's still full and I couldn't finished it up all by myself. Then, we went to Chip Lee and bought some stationery. We talked in the car for awhile, I finally have the courage to spill out my probs and feelings to him. Seriously, I couldn't hold them longer, there's like a time bomb in me that waiting juz for the moment to explode. N I not sure how long I can stand or ignore the feeling of jealousy. I'm not angry at anyone else except me. I can find a thousand reasons to hate myself but not him. It just... I dunno.....love I guess. Felt lot better after talking face to face with Ian. We even had an agreement, which is to spend time on chatting on Wed, Sat and Sun. Not that the rest of the days we can't talk to each other but less time. I want him to focus more on studies and this is also to help me to make myself adapt to that when I leave for college next time cuz I realised that what Mom say is true. After I start to study, I couldn't have so much time anymore to chat and spend time everyday with him while coping with my studies. I know it'll be very hard at first given that I chat with him almost every night now but then all it takes is time to make myself adapt to it. I rather I suffer now than crying over it when I start college. Ian, I hope you understand it. I'm sorry if all these make you sad, regret or fed up, but I need to do this.

Tomorrow, 29/5/09 will be our 5 months anniversary. When look back, there's so much things have changed. There's happy ones and not to forget sad ones. But I'll only craved those joyful times with you in my memory. I hope same to you also. I made a memory book for both of us to keep all those beautiful poems you made for me cuz I really love and appreciate every single of them. I took about one week to complete it, hoping that it will cheer you up. I hope it really does. I made a memory in my mind the picture of your surprise and happy reaction this afternoon when I showed it to you. Your reaction is like a baby who got his first toy, surprised, happy and at the same time wondering what is it. And I wont forget the way you look at me with those eyes that really melts my heart. I took some pictures of each pages in the book. Here they are~